boundaries
“No one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.”
- Marianne Williamson
Full disclosure, boundaries are my jam. I love them! Boundaries are one of my favourite topics to talk about, to write about, and to put into practice. Well established boundaries leave us feeling safe, seen, secure, and heard — all the while giving us license to take ownership of our own lives. Boundaries create the opportunity for creativity. Boundaries help us flourish. Boundaries are the first place to start when it comes to self-care. Boundaries create space by giving us a sense of inward expansion. Yes. Boundaries. Create. Space.
choose the thing you want and say no to everything that isn’t that.
When it comes to goals (and I would argue, overall happiness) all we really need to do is say no to everything that isn’t aligned with what we want. Indeed, saying yes to something means saying no to something else. And the thing that helps us italicize that no is… a big beautiful boundary.
Now, just like anything else, boundaries are a daily practice that we need to keep returning to in order to make a habit. Boundaries bring goals, dreams, and wishes to life because they frame our actions.
That is what today’s practice is all about. But first, below is a picture that always makes me smile. This girl is natural and graceful, but she’s serious boundaries. I don’t like guns but I do like to think of her as my inner guide, or spirit animal. I call upon her when I need to conjure up boundaries like a babe. Check it out, scroll down, and let’s begin.
Boundaries help us identify the obstacles that are standing in our way because they will be the first thing to push back via resistance from others.
Where does resistance pop up for me when I set boundaries around goals, tasks, or creative pursuits?
Boundaries help us identify the obstacles that are standing in the way because they will be the first thing to push back via resistance from others. Boundaries are the best way to see where previous overstepping, manipulation, and even gaslighting has been taking place. Next, let’s move on to an exercise that will help you identify where you need to establish boundaries in your life.
hOw to know when + where to establish boundaries
Establish boundaries when you get triggered, because triggers are love notes in disguise. They are an invitation to initiate boundaries.
1. Triggers are emotional feedback for the parts of your story that need to be challenged, changed, or dropped.
2. Yes, resistance to new boundaries can be a great clue as to where previous over-stepping was taking place. But notice also how you react when parts of your story (or new boundaries) are challenged. What are you taking offence to?
3. Appreciate your triggers. They are there to show you where you need more love, compassion, patience, trust, and meditation. They are love notes in disguise.
4. xoxo
If you like the PDF and you want to take this work to the next step, get in touch here. There are some incredible soma-based movements that can help release traumatic responses from working through boundaries, triggers, and stored resistance in the body.
Recap
Remember at the beginning of this series we chatted about making beautiful choices because that is what truly makes us beautiful? At the end of the day, triggers remind us that we are human; they invite us to lead with love and choose the next best positive and kind thought or action. Boundaries are there to protect us. And resistance shows us where we need to grow personally and spiritually.
Takeaways
No one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves. (Marianne Williamson)
Well established boundaries leave us feeling safe, seen, secure, and heard — all the while giving us license to take ownership of our own lives. Boundaries create the opportunity for creativity. Boundaries help us flourish. Boundaries are the first place to start when it comes to self-care. Boundaries create space by giving us a sense of inward expansion. Yes. Boundaries. Create. Space.
Boundaries help us identify the obstacles that are standing in the way because they will be the first thing to push back via resistance from others. Boundaries are the best way to see where previous overstepping, manipulation, and even gaslighting has been taking place.
Appreciate your triggers. They are there to show you where you need more love, compassion, patience, trust, and meditation. They are love notes in disguise.
Don't forget, you are your capacity for making beautiful choices. (And boundaries are one of the most beautiful choices you can make!)